"Take things always by the smooth handle."

source

So, turns out Thomas Jefferson and I had some pretty similar ideas about how to make life a little smoother. I stumbled across this poster (available on etsy if you follow the link) and, apart from loving the design of it, since I am ALL about words, am on board with all ten of these bad boys.

Obviously, the famous "never put off until tomorrow what you can do today" is golden, but "never spend your money before you have earned it" is something I remind myself probably every day. "Never trouble another for what you can do yourself" is my life motto. I'm this close to having it stamped on my forehead.

"Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold" is one that I completely agree with, and could probably do with incorporating into my life a bit more. And, of course, "we seldom repent for having eaten too little" is both true and catchy, and I'm surprised that it is not all up in the Tumblr/Fitblr universe. Maybe it is.

At any rate, Thomas Jefferson sounds like a man I could've had a chat with. The guy even waited to have an affair with Sally Hemings' til after he became a widower. In History, that's stand up stuff.

Happy Monday, all.

Linnea

BTW: Survived hot yoga yesterday! It wasn't as hot as I was expecting, but it was Yin, so the stretching was woooonderful. Plus, afterward my sister and I ate incredibly tasty Mexican food, in the type of teensy tiny restaurant with adjacent table of snotty lawyers (sorry, non-snotty lawyers, I know you do exist, even in New York) complaining loudly, that makes me remember why I like the city. Sometimes : )

oh, my

About to do hot yoga for the first time ever, and yoga in an actual class for the first time since I was 14.
I'm a wee bit nervous.

But, this afternoon I got my roommate to do yoga with me, and she hates it, so I'm proud of her, and if she can do it, I can do it. Plus, I'm going with my sister, who, though she ups the intimidation factor, is awesome, and I like to see her face.

Plus, I've been doing an actual practice every day for the last four days, which, while not a remotely long time, especially given that for years I started every morning with some yoga, has me more limber than if I tried this a week ago.

So, with any luck, I'll check back in tomorrow, with tales of success. Or at least, tales of not passing out, which in my book is a wild success : )

Linnea

back again

me, northern ireland

Well, hello.
This has been a ghost town for over a year now.
And I'm glad. I haven't known what to say, and was pissed off that had no one to say it to.
Because, let's face it. No one reads this thing. Except sometimes my mother, or maybe my cousin, and once in a blue moon, a stranger.

But I don't think I care anymore. When I look back at my old posts, it's a lovely archive of my life. I very much enjoy looking back at thing's I've baked, places I've been and days I've forgotten. So I'm just writing for myself. Like therapy on the cheap : )

And let's face another thing, stranger/possibly my mother/most likely no one:
I need something therapeutic up in this joint.
The last two years have been a bit difficult, and this last year has been...I don't know what to call it. Hard. Challenging, and not in a character-building way. In a way that makes everything feel fruitless. In many ways there have been tangible reasons: I lost my uncle, whom I loved and love very much, and who was a very strong, comforting presence in my life. I've had some family drama, which I think I let take too large a toll on me, but I don't know how else to treat it. I've had financial highs and lows, have moved three times and I'm still living with my friends, family and belongings so scattered that I have no idea where to call home. I've seen people I love fall in and out of relationships both good and bad, seen my weight jump up and down, and feel constantly torn between feeling like time is slipping away at top speed, or inching by at a pace too slow to notice.

But everybody goes through those things, and some of those I've been dealing with for as long as I can remember. Plus, there have also been really lovely things that have happened in the last year. I went to Europe twice in 2012, both times with people I absolutely adore. Overall, my financial and work situation has been relatively stable. Fantastic new people have become a part of my life. On the whole I've been pretty lucky in the opportunities I've had. I can recognize that. But recognizing my good fortune and feeling happy are not the same thing, and it's been a while since I was happy. As in, really happy, not just in the fleeting moment of a gathering of friends or a a holiday, or a momentary accomplishment, which, while large components of happiness, don't stick to you if underlying it all in as inexplicable down-ness. Lowness.

It just doesn't seem sensical, or fair, that a person can be so aware and thankful for the good things in their life and still feel so dissatisfied. But life is neither sensical or fair, and thank god. Even from my lowest days I can see that life would be a wretched, boring thing if everything made sense and everything was fair.

And that's something. A nameless, timid something, perhaps, but most things start out as timid and nameless, and for all I know, if I take care, it may grow into something strong and marvelous like hope or motivation.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm taking care. I'm forcing myself to treat myself the way I should, both because I'm an adult and because I like myself.

I'm forcing myself to be social on the days I don't feel like seeing people, eat on the days I'm disinterested in food, not binge on the days I'm a little too interested in food, and simply move more, because when I'm moving, so are my thoughts. I find that when I stay still for too long, so does my mind, and my train of thought does sad, slow circles instead of steaming ahead and making progress.
I'm forcing myself to stretch and meditate and focus on my body, and be thankful for it's health and strength. I'm forcing myself to think about my goals without running so fast for the future that I miss everything else on the way.

And I'm giving myself a break when I inevitably slip up, and not sliding completely back into the sad, lethargic mist just because one day, or two days, or a week isn't as disciplined and hopeful as it should've been.

Now, I know this is a lot of pretty words, and it's much easier to say something than do it. I'm the queen of making plans and not following through. I've made enough exercise journals, just to sit and gather dust, to easily take that title. I'm not naive enough to think that because I've had a really good couple of days that I'm okay again and will stay feeling positive. Life will keep happening to me, and I'm damn thankful for that. But this blog is a calm space for me to look at my life, and for the first time in two years I'm ready to do that again, even if sometimes it's too hard and I need to take a week off.

So, that's that. A check in. My goal is to post a couple of times a week, whether it be with a photo and one or two words, or a fat whopper of an entry like this one. I just want a beautiful space where I can organize my thoughts and turn them into memories for myself to visit. Someplace less private than a journal but just as personal.

And if people read it, they do. And if they don't, they don't. It will be here either way, just for me.

Love to anyone who needs it, so, love to everyone : )

Linnea